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We’re not heterosexual, just not not heterosexual

April 22, 2011

Need yet another reminder that there exist very disturbed people out there who love pretending that things can turn a boy away from heterosexuality rather easily?  Behold the latest gender panic controversy du jour (spurred by an ad with a mother painting her son’s toenails) that only a reactionary nutcase could come up with and love. It’s things like this that really make me wish there was a clinical term for those who treat heterosexuality in men as though it were purely a status symbol to support one’s political theology and not a innate characteristic of a human being. According to these people, a man is only as heterosexual as his devotion to what the culture deems proper manly behavior and any statistically measurable deviation from the established acceptable base value means he must be gay, or possibly transgender if gay isn’t scary enough to deserve it’s own Ominous Latin Chanting. If the only way such people can be happy with their supposed normal heterosexual orientation is to see those they don’t view as properly hetero constantly kept down and forced to hide until they need a scapegoat, how is such heterosexuality not a harmful paraphilia*, presumably not even as exciting as chains and whips? How can we expect such heterosexuality to have something satisfying to live for? With such a insipid expression of one’s orientation, it’s no wonder that not only have we killed heterosexuality, but we have reanimated it in hopes of terrifying as many people as possible. Necromancers the world over would be proud of such an achievement, if not envious at being denied the opportunity to do the deed themselves**.

In our Zombie Apocalypse backdrop of this pathological heterosexuality, we are all encouraged in some way or another to hunger for signs of “gayness” in men, as the above linked post notes. If we were allowed to be content enough with that, then we wouldn’t also have to hunger for the permissible hatred of men that follows. We wouldn’t have to scavenge around for reinforcement that heterosexuality is temporary and anything else is permanent. We wouldn’t aimlessly shamble around under the illusion that men could easily turn from hetero to gay or trans (but not bi because only women can acceptably be bi) just to offend our delicate, fragile norms. Think of all the things that could be accomplished if “turning gay” had as much power as self-loathing heteros give it. We could fix the economy, send more helpful aid to Japan and Haiti, end our wars in the Middle East, or even get Nintendo of America to quickly localize games like The Last Story, Xenoblade, and Soma Bringer, if only to prove that they haven’t decided to neglect their “hardcore” audience. It would do damn near anything but fix the real problems with heterosexuality in America, something I suspect they don’t really want since killing off as many types of heterosexuality as possible gives them more reason to be unhappy and someone to blame for the fact that they aren’t really lusting after their token love interests and social arm candy (read “proof that they’re not gay”) as expected. Seriously, if a catalog image of a mother painting her son’s toenails can cause this much panic, and the panicked really believe it’s worth panicking over, then the fact that for all our being forced into a narrow range of hetero behavior, we still couldn’t prevent our current recession and breakdown of government should send them into cardiac arrest. The fact that clinging to a romanticized version of the past won’t fix our problems now should make them break out the razors and cyanide pills.  The idea and high possibility of a boy subject to such a thing growing up to be yet another of the 90-something percent of our heterosexual population must not interest them enough compared to the hand-wringing they are capable of in cases like this.

It’s almost as if the goal of some “heterosexuals” is to make their orientation into a constantly shrinking social clique…it does explain the obsession with appearances and style over substance rather well.

*not to be confused with a pair of Philia, made of Meganekko, Indignation, and Win
**luckily for them, we’re on Earth and not Midgard, so it’s not like Lenneth and her merry band of Einherjar will be paying them a visit or anything…

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Master Bigode permalink
    April 23, 2011 6:52 am

    Hey, sorry for the completely off-topic post, but you still link to the wikia touhou wiki in the “f.y.i.” section on the right. Could please you update that link to point to instead ? We’ve moved from wikia some months ago, and you can check the news section of the shrinemaiden forums if you have any questions or doubts regarding the move. Feel free to delete my post once you’re done reading it.

    • yooknohoo permalink*
      April 24, 2011 5:24 am

      Noted and changed. Thanks for the heads up.

      Now that TH13’s out, I’ll probably check it out soon.


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